Day 16: Beautiful Vienna, Which We Did Not See

We spent a lot of ti e staring out of our stateroom window at the scenery. This is some of it.

We docked at Vienna, so the view from our stateroom changed. We were facing across the river from the old city, which meant a view of very modern buildings, including a tall skyscraper with a weird wavy design, and a spire that looked like it might be a control tower.

Cute little Austrian town on theDanube. Don’t ask me which one.
This is all we saw of Vienna. I assume there’s a lot more to see.

Not moving around is tiring, if you can believe it. I still feel like I have a bad cold, but the inactivity is getting to me. It is so much worse for Tom, who normally averages six miles of walking a day.

I spent my time working on a little graphic novel for our middle granddaughter about her favorite stuffed animal. Bunny is no longer as important to Jessamyn as she once was, but I promised, so I will deliver. I am refreshing my skills on Procreate—I let myself get rusty.

I finished an audiobook called “The House in the Cerulean Sea,” by TJ Klune. It is a gently humorous fantasy about the healing properties of love and the moral courage required to buck a bad system. I absolutely loved it. I had intended to buy it as a Kindle book, but I. Screwed up. However, the narrator, Daniel Henning, was very good, and added to the humor with the different voices for a very diverse cast of characters.

By late afternoon, I was beginning to feel better. If the experience of my travel companions is anything to go by, recovery is rapid. Just about everyone but me is back to normal except for the occasional cough. Glory to the house of science, which brought us the vaccine.

We left Vienna this evening. The six of us had already planned to go back to Vienna for a few days, so I am not upset about not seeing it on the tour. I am a little worried about the weight I must be gaining, sitting here and eating three squares plus an afternoon snack and getting no exercise. But seriously, the meals are by way of entertainment. We watched another stupid movie called “Blythe Spirit,” based on a play by Noel Coward and featuring Judi Dench. It sounded promising, but wasn’t.

Stormy evening on the Danube.

Day 15: In Which We Eat and Drink and Read but Do Nothing Else on Our Exciting European Vacation

Today was not a good day from the standpoint of feeling healthy. As Tom grew steadily better, my cough worsened and I became more congested. My side aches from coughing.

Every time they bring us food, little salt and pepper shakers are included. I stole a couple of these to make a salt water rinse. Necessity is the mother of invention.

We have seen some rather odd things from our stateroom from time to time. This is a small Viking ship sailing on the Danube.

We are sailing on the Danube now, and I must report that it is not blue. More sort of muddy green, not that I’m complaining. We are passing by little villages nestled into green countryside, with thickly forested hills beyond. Once, we passed a speedboat stuck and abandoned in the river, with water flowing over it.

Alex the Magic Butler tells us that after they announced 6 new cases of Covid, masking went to100%. As he told me this, the guy who never masked ambled down the hall—wearing a mask.

There have been several places where people were swimming and fishing, so the water quality must be good.

The Uniworld staff continues to be solicitous and kind. They are taking care of us six sickies in addition to their normal duties, but are endlessly patient. We just have to remember to request EXACTLY what we want because if we just ask for salad, we get lettuce with dressing, and nothing else. I’m not complaining at all, it’s just the way it is. They aren’t mind readers.

A castle on the Danube.

Day 14: The View from Our Stateroom

We went through a lot of locks today as we approached the continental divide. They grew ever larger, though we were not in the best position to see them from our stateroom.

Approaching one of the locks. This was taken from the sun deck before we were sequestered in our staterooms.

I began to cough and sniffle and asked the staff for cough medicine and throat lozenges. Someone got off in Passau, the last stop before entering Austria and the Danube, to buy me meds. They made an excellent selection, and it has helped.

I checked with our friends in the morning, and they were doing well. Tom and I spent the day watching the banks of the Danube, eating, reading, etc. We watched two of the movies available on board. “Wild Mountain Thyme” with Christopher Walken, John Hamm, and Emma Stone seemed promising, but it was my least favorite kind of plot; the people involved made everything complicated because they wouldn’t tell each other the truth. Ugh.

“The Courier,” with Benedict Cumberbatch and Rachel Brosnahan (Mrs.Maisel), is a very good film. It’s based on a true story of spy intrigue during the Cold War, and I highly recommend it.

Not too much else to report. We are passing through some very pretty countryside.

Sunset reflection from our stateroom.

Day 13: The Plague Ship

We knew we were risking Covid when we embarked. But all six of us were fully vaccinated and boosted, and we were careful about masking. Unfortunately, not all of our fellow travelers were as careful.

Early in the trip, a gentleman from Australia was taken off the ship sick with Covid and sent to the hospital. We heard later he had been seriously ill. He was discharged from the hospital and went directly home. He had isolated in his room for the first few days, so none of us had been anywhere near him. We weren’t overly concerned.

As the days went by, we noticed more and more people hacking and coughing, and mask wearing was only about 40%. One guy NEVER wore a mask.

Then, the evening we set sail for Regensburg, Clod tested positive for Covid. We all did the quick results test. I was the only one not feeling symptoms, and my test was negative. Tom’s was positive.

We all disembarked in Regensburg and took a taxi to a little booth to take a PCR test. Results were reported in two hours. By this time, I was feeling a faint tickle in my chest.

We stopped at an apothecary for some meds and walked back to the ship, a stroll of about 10 minutes. We got to the quay where River Duchess was moored. There was a long bench close to the ship.

We all sat down and stared glumly at the ship. Once we got back on board, we knew we would be confined to our staterooms and would not be allowed to socialize with each other. We talked for a few minutes and then one of the officers appeared and herded us gently back on to the ship.

We were all positive. The protocol was to stay in quarantine for five days, which meant that on the last day, when we were due to disembark in Budapest, we would be released from quarantine. Everyone assured us that all we had to do was ask for something (other than leaving our staterooms), and it would be brought to us. The phone rang constantly with people checking on us and asking if we needed anything. Our rooms would not be cleaned, but we could get fresh sheets and towels any time, and they would do our laundry.

They have been as good as their word. In addition to taking our meal orders, Alex brings everyone a snack in the afternoon, and anything we have asked for has been quickly fulfilled. Alex has been taking care of all of us.

I have taken a few photos, but much of the time, there isn’t much to see from our stateroom. We haven’t been bored, but Tom greatly misses his daily walk. My ankles were very swollen from all the walking in the heat, and are back to their normal size.

None of us are seriously ill, though I, being the last to get it, am experiencing a worsening of symptoms as the others are recovering. It feels like a cold, no worse.

Every day, we get a paper agenda informing us of all the activities we will not be participating in that day. But we did enjoy the 2/3 of the trip that we did get to experience outside of our staterooms

The view from our stateroom for one entire day. I don’t remember where.

Day 12: Nuremberg

The choice today was between the WWII historical tour, which involved a lot of Nazi stuff, a walk down from the castle involving steep stuff and cobblestones—or free time at the city center. Three guesses which I chose. I have had enough of Nazis at home, where they appear to be taking over.

The tour guide on our bus was highly amusing. She was from Scotland. She came here as a young woman to improve her German. Apparently someone once called from the back of the bus, “Shouldn’t you have improved your English first?” She had a lot of funny little stories like that. She pointed out various points of historical interest before dropping the walking groups off at the castle.

Linda, Susan, and I walked around the central square. Nuremberg is a bit like Disneyland in that most of it has been replicated. It was thoroughly flattened in WWII. The stained glass was taken out of the old churches at the start of the war and was thus preserved. Except for the church of St. Sebaldus, the church where Johann Pachelbel and his son served as organists. (Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major is my absolute favorite piece of classical music.) The church was badly damaged but restored, though many of the stained glass windows have clear glass inserts where the stained glass was broken and not restored.

Interior of St. Sebaldus. The church also boasts a massive organ, and I bet Pachelbel’s Canon sounds
magnificent when played on it.

We didn’t go into the main cathedral, but on the hour, glockenspiel figures move around and trumpeters try to trumpet. (The mechanism appeared to not quite be working.) Really, the only structures left standing were a couple of houses, one of them the house of artist Albrecht Dürer. It all looks authentic and I am rather in awe of the time, effort, and expense required to do this.

We poked into a number of shops and walked a short way along the Pegnitz River. We saw a huge school of rather large fish just hanging lazily in the water, testifying to its purity. I am extremely impressed with the cleanliness on the waterways we have traveled on. We in the US have a long way to go.

Linda and Susan on the river walk.

We stopped at a specialty bakery to pick up some gifts, and we each chose a large cookie and a drink. I disliked my choice even though it has a lot of chocolate on it. It was very sweet, rich, dense, and again, very sweet. Sort of the cookie version of fruitcake. I left most of it there, thinking longingly of the delicious snowball in Rothenburg.

Market stalls in the center of the town square were offering the most gorgeous fruits and vegetables convey to me that they were some sort of cookie, not a fungus. Oh, well.

Gorgeous produce in the market square.

We met Thomas at an unmistakable landmark, known as the Beautiful Fountain. It is enameled in green, gold, and red. There are two rings caught in the ironwork surrounding the Beautiful Fountain, a small one of iron and a large one of brass. They can be turned, and the legend is that if you turn one of the rings around three times, your wishes will come true—just one of several stories about the fountain. I turned the ring, but forgot to make a wish.

The Beautiful Fountain.
A beautiful window. That is all.

Back at the ship, a historian who is an expert on the Main-Danube Canal came to speak to us. Europe has a continental divide, just as North America does, running from Spain deep into Russia. Above the divide, rivers run northerly, below, southerly. As early as 796 CE, Charlemagne attempted to cross the divide by building the Fossa Karolingen connecting two rivers to allow travel in a north-south direction, This still exists as a sort of ditch. King Ludwig I of Bavaria tried again with a longer canal, but it was never economically viable due to the introduction of railroad travel, the fact that the canal boats were powered by mules pulling them from the land, and difficulty in keeping the water level deep enough. The current canal connects the Main and the Danube, and construction on it ended in 1992.

The canal has 16 locks, growing ever larger as we approach the divide. The locks are 40 feet wide and the ship is 37 feet wide, so you do the math. Last night we were in a lock. I opened our window and measured the distance between the railing and the concrete wall with my hand. It was about six inches. These river cruise captains are amazing.

Day 11- In Which We Visit a Franconian Farm

When I was pondering which excursions to take before we left on our trip, the Franconian farm and village visit with tractor ride did not appeal. But we changed our minds after listening to the cruise director, Thomas, talk about it.

For one thing, I didn’t realize that doing a walking tour through every city and village would become tiring. I’m not talking about the exercise, though it has been a bit hard for this couch potato to get used to. It was the routine. Tom and I (maybe mostly me) thought a visit to a farm in the country and a tiny village would be a nice break. It was! The alternative was a walking tour of Bamburg, which was fine, but we wanted a change of pace. Tour director Thomas warned about the smell of pig manure on the farm, but this was no deterrent. Pigs, after all, smell, and farms tend to have pigs around here. Another consideration was the heat—it was predicted in the high 80s. Walking through a city in the heat did not seem like the most fun.

We traveled by bus for about an hour through lovely pastoral Bavaria, passing through several villages on the way. Our destination was the village of Wohnau, population 97. Apparently, the population has been growing because people who were raised here go off to school, perhaps getting jobs elsewhere, but when they start having children, some return because they have lovely memories of their own childhoods in this town.

Bavaria is the breadbasket of Germany, according one guide.

Wohnau is a Catholic town. Most towns and cities in Bavaria are a mix of Lutheran and Catholic, but not Wohnau. Apparently, Bavaria tends to be more religious than other German states. Wohnau has crucifixes everywhere.

We first stopped for what our guide, Kristina, called “a techno bio break,”—a bathroom stop—at the Smitte’n Hof—the farm we were to visit. Then we walked through the town, which took no time all, to the small cemetery. I love cemeteries, and this was a miniature beauty. The gravestones are fronted with miniature gardens, each with a tiny well for holy water and a lantern. The story is that Wohnau had no cemetery and the town’s residents were buried in a neighboring village. A man from Wohnau wanted to be buried in the village in which he had lived his entire life, so he started a project to build a cemetery in Wohnau, which got underway. Tragically, before the cemetery was finished, the man died, and was buried in the neighboring village. Some bold youths went under cover of that very night, dug him up, amid reburied him in Wohnau—I am not sure where, as, you will remember, the cemetary had not been finished.

At the entrance to the farm.

Kristina told us that in Germany, you rent the gravesites for 25 years, then you have to renew the lease. In the old days, if no one renewed the rent, the body would be exhumed and sent to the bone house for storage. They don’t have bone houses anymore, so I asked what happens to the bodies now? She said she had never thought about it and didn’t know. Hmmm.

The tiny, exquisite cemetery of Wohnau.
This was the prettiest memorial in the cemetery. Each of the stones is fronted with a tiny garden, like the houses’ front gardens in miniature.
Every grave has a holy water well and a lantern.

We turned back and walked to the center of town—a few paces from the cemetery at the edge of town. A tall, dead birch tree was stranding in a metal sheath there, its branches festooned with faded ribbons. The tree is decorated and erected in April for some sort of spring festival, but it is looking a bit sad now.

The deceased festival tree.

We visited the Catholic Church, which was tiny but exquisite, decorated in the Baroque style. The priest only comes once every three weeks or so to perform the Mass. The families take turns decorating and cleaning the church for this event.

The little church at Wohnau. The lady in front is our guide, Kristina. I love the twisty Baroque column, embellished with golden vines. The saint depicted is a patron saint of livestock. His name started with a “W,” but an Internet search failed to bring him up.

Back to the farm, where we were escorted to a cool stone cellar for sausage, bread, and soft cheese. Our host, Herr Schmitt, an elderly patriarch, talked at length in German, and sometimes Kristina translated, some times a pretty frauliein neighbor, who looked the very picture of a German girl. She spoke excellent English.

The first snack at the farm. Delicious. I just ate the second snack (cherries and brown sourdough bread) without photographing it.

Then it was time for the tractor ride! Herr Schmitt is the only “full time” farmer in the village. Others have to have a spouse working elsewhere as there is no employment in the village. Herr Schmitt has cannily parlayed his farm into a tourist attraction. He entertains tours with local snacks and wine tastings, tractor rides, etc. He also offers camping, has a store with farm-made products like noodles, makes and sells wine, of course, and no doubt has other enterprises. Very clever man.

We piled into a wooden wagon pulled by a tiny blue tractor. It set off into the woods nearby, emitting diesel fumes, but they weren’t too obnoxious. Our driver—who turned out to be from Connecticut—kept well behind the other diesel-belching tiny red tractor. The woods were quite dense, composed mostly of beech and oak trees, mostly slender, but growing closely

The tiny blue tractor takes us into the forest.

together. We went by the neighboring village where the residents of Wohnau were once buried, past wheat fields, and up into vineyards. The vineyards had a multitude of small structures for each family’s tools. (Different parts of the vineyard belonged to different families.) Some of these structures looked like tool sheds; others looked like miniature chalets, with tiny front porches, tiled roofs, and stovepipes. We glimpsed a minute domed chapel among the vines as well.

A little chapel in the vineyards. Sadly, we didn’t get a shot of the miniature chalet/tool shed.

Then we plunged into the forest again and so back to the farm. Kristina was talking about the farm dog, which she adored, but had died of old age. Apparently in Germany, you can’t have a farm dog unless you can prove the dog is acceptable to the people who come to the farm. I don’t know how they accomplish that.

We went down to the cellar again, blessing the cool temperature, where they served us small, delicious cherries, brown sourdough bread, and two local wines, one white, one red. I recall that the red varietal was called Domina. Both were made on the farm. They were quite good, though they probably wouldn’t be my main tipple. Herr Schmitt wanted to know how crocodile tasted. I was able, through Kristina, to inform him that we don’t eat crocodiles in America, but alligator tastes just like chicken.

Our host, Herr Schmitt.

As we departed Smitte’n Hof, we were each gifted with a round green bottle of 2016 Bacchus Franken, a white wine made on the farm. Given Herr Schmidt’s excellent commercial instincts, I was surprised we weren’t shown the farm store.

The wine from the farm. We were given two bottles, but we haven’t opened them yet.

The bus ride back used the super highway and didn’t take quite as long. It was a hot day, and felt so good to take a shower! The water in our shower pours from the ceiling without a trace of pressure regulator.

By the way, there was nary a pig to be seen—or smelled—on the farm. And it was just the break I was hoping for—confirmed by the others in our group who had opted for the Bamburg walking tour. We rejoined them and went into town to find rauchbier, a smoked beer that is the local speciality. We found it, along with a cheerful waiter who spoke perfect English. It is so far the only beer I have tasted in Germany that I really liked. It has a slight bacon-y nose that only enhanced the flavor, in my opinion. Then we trotted through the 89 degree heat back to the bus, and the River Duchess departed for Nuremberg. I did I get this hasty shot of a house right on the river. It looks like an enormous piece of Wedgewood porcelain.

Day 10: Fairytale Rothenburg

Rothenburg is distinguished from our other visits by being located well-inland, on a nice high point that was easier to defend. It was also distinguished because it was never bombed during WWII, sparing the historic buildings—they have not been meticulously recreated, as we saw in so many places, but beautifully preserved.

We traveled to Rothenburg via bus. (The bus driver is always the same. He travels from location to location with the bus, and I bet he beats us every time.) We traveled along what is called the Romantic Highway through lush pastoral land. We saw fields of sugar beets, cow corn (hard feed corn that they use for ethanol), wheat, mustard, and many crops I couldn’t identify.

A wheat filed along the Romantic Highway. The clouds here are gorgeous.

We wound our way through tiny villages until we came at last to the ramparts of Rothenburg, which completely enclose the town, as they did in Medieval times and earlier.

The Medieval ramparts of Rothenburg. The ramparts have a roof and 6ou can walk all around the town under it. Tom and I didn’t do that part of the tour.

Rothenburg is extremely quaint and charming, with elaborate half-timbered houses, an old cathedral, many town wells, and narrow, cobbled streets. It is also a tourist attraction, and not just for foreign visitors. The language I heard spoken most frequently by the visitors walking by was German.

Town gate, looking toward the town from the site of the original castle.

Our guide, Harry, also added to my understanding of the stumblestones. He emphasized they are not only to commemorate the Jews, but anyone who was murdered by the Nazis, including Romany (Gypsies), the mentally retarded, people with disabilities, gays, and anyone else the Nazis deemed unworthy to live. Lesson taken. Odd that they are called stumblestones, as they are actually brass plaques that are far flatter and less likely to cause a stumble than the cobbles surrounding them.

There are storks nesting on the rooftops here—the first I have seen! Just like in the fairytales.

A real, live stork. Sadly, I only got this shot of his or her butt as he or she bent to feed the babies.

He took us by the Museum of Crime, which is evidently the largest museum anywhere dedicated to the subject of crime and punishment. It is also called the torture museum. Nuh-uh.

It is probably extremely expensive to live in Rothenburg. There are very strict laws regarding the appearance of the buildings. All the roofs are required to be covered with red clay “beaver tail” tiles. All the windows must have wooden frames. Skylights are verboten. However, I did notice glass tiles the same shape and size as the ceramic beavertail tiles on several buildings, obviously letting light through to the upper stories. So people, as always, find workarounds.

A gorgeous house in Rothenburg. You can see the beavertail tiles.

The first castle/fortification in Rothenberg was built around 1100 C.E. on a spur of rock that projects above the surrounding lush valley of the Tauber River. Little remains of the original structure but a small chapel. The former castle is now a pretty garden that command views of the Tauber River valley and orchards below. Mature trees provide much-appreciated shade, and there is a lavender garden, a small fountain, flowers, and stone benches where you can sit and admire the spectacular view. We saw a pair of storks flying overhead, but by the time I got my camera phone out, they had flown away.

A fountain in the garden that now reigns over the site of the original castle. Very peaceful, and the goldfish in the picture seemed suspended motionless in time.
One of the many spectacular views from the garden.

We actually had free time in Rothenburg to wander around guideless, shop, and sample the local cuisine. Tom and I stopped at a bakery for water, and I purchased a “snowball,” which is a large sphere of what appears to be curls of cookie dough held together by various things in different flavors. I selected a dark chocolate snowball—I guess the snow was dirty. It was absolutely delicious, with a crisp, light texture and not too sweet. We devoured it. We visited the castle-turned-garden next, then wandered back to the marktplatz in the town center. The Rathaus, or city hall, in the center has a tall clock tower. When the clock rings the hour, two windows open to either side and automated figures appear, drink beer from steins while the bells chime, then retire behind the windows again.

The clock tower. Everyone pauses on the hour to watch the automatons drink their beer.

We met up with our friends in the marktplatz and decided to try to find a restaurant for lunch that Harry the guide suggested. We did not find it, but we did happen upon a sandwich restaurant that served Mexican Jarritos, Cubano sandwiches, and other exotic fare of the New World. It was not what we were looking for, but we needed to stop for lunch and several men outside the establishment assured us the sandwiches were good. They were VERY good! We ate outside on the cobbles under umbrellas as children dashed in and out of the restaurant. It was a family establishment. The chef was from Puerto Rico, and his wife, a German, handled the front of the restaurant. I think the family lived in the same building, and their kids played on the sidewalk.

I broke away from the group to do some gift shopping and found things for four on my list. This was a godsend—there is usually no time to shop. Being a tourist Mecca, there were many unusual shops and interesting merchandise. And the famous Christmas store was in Rothenburg—as well as every other town we have visited. Linda caved in and bought a large bag full of Christmas cheer.

You just can’t get away from the famous Christmas store.

On the way back, the bus took the super highway instead of the Romantic Highway. In addition to the fields full of growing things, we also saw large fields of solar panels. Germany also uses wind power, but they shut down all their nuclear reactors after Fukushima—a move that with the Russian invasion of Ukraine and subsequent sanctions, proved to be a mistake.

Day 8: I Take a Down Day

We docked at Würzburg, where there is a royal palace that rivals Versailles. I was feeling a bit worn down, not having slept well the night before. I also realized I was getting a bit snappish, which is a sign I am tired, and it isn’t very nice for other people. So I stayed on board, blogging and reading a trashy novel.

Tom contacted me from the town when they returned from admiring what sounds like a truly amazing palace, complete with Tiepolo frescoed ceilings and amazing three-dimensional plaster work. I did not regret my choice. All palaces are different—and they are all weirdly alike, the obscene excrescences of a previous generation’s multi-billionaires who spent their money indulging their lust for self-aggrandizement and power instead of, say, feeding people. Their only redeeming value is their patronage of the arts, and I am glad these monstrous monuments to ego are now available for the commoners to enjoy.

So I walked as instructed to a large bridge, met Tom, and met up with our friends. Würzburg is a modern city with many older buildings and an huge cathedral. For how I feel about huge cathedrals, please see my remarks on palaces. However, this cathedral was rather interesting. The bones of the building are Romanesque, with Roman arches built in alternating red and white stones, giving it that distinctive look. Inside, the bones are clean, but the apse has been elaborate statues of popes and saints facing the austere columns. Many of the windows must have been shattered during WWII, and have been replaced with clear glass in modern designs. Two altars to either side of the sanctuary feature overwrought and gilded altar displays in the baroque style. Interspersed between the more Renaissance and Baroque works are several modern statues. The sanctuary light is housed in an abstract, towering sculpture.

Smaller chapels to either side feature gothic arches and what looks like original stained glass. And at the foot of the main aisle stands a monumental menorah. It is an altogether unique cathedral that reflects the ages it has endured.

And that is all I really remember of Würzburg—except for a delicious tomato and cheese sandwich in a perfectly delicious roll baked with many different seeds and saffron. The bread in Europe is not just something to hold your sandwich together, it adds to the pleasure of the meal.

So I will share some photos I think are interesting that I haven’t shared before. Enjoy.

Woven nsragon feom the T@iland exhibition at the Floriade.
Floriade exhibit.

Lovelocks on a bridge in Cologne. The idea is the lovers turn the key in the lock to secure undying love and then throw the key in the river below. The river must be crowded with keys. I have no idea how much these things must weigh.
Interior shot, Cologne Cathedral.
Gigantic hilltop fort in Würzburg, the capital of Lower Franconia. Which is actually upper Bavaria.
Red sandstone carving on the side of an old house in Rothenburg. It says, “Fool, do not gossip about the ladies and gentlemen.”
There are wildflowers everywhere. I love the red poppies. These were in the Netherlands.
The “Dwarf Well” in Cologne. It depicts a fairy tale very similar to the shoemaker and the elves. The well in each town closest to the church was considered to have the purest water. This well is outside the cathedral, but I wouldn’t recommend drinking from it.
One of the many hilltop castles along the Rhine.

Day 7: The Unbearable Cuteness of Wertheim

This morning, we were moored at Wertheim, a village on the Main that had not been destroyed in WWII and still has its 16th Century buildings intact. The temperature was supposed to be in the high 80s, which sounded dreadful, but wasn’t too bad. For one thing, the town was right there, a few minutes’ walk from the river. For another, the excursion was shorter. For another, there was always shade somewhere, and there were an abundance of chairs for the footsore—something other towns were distinctly short of.

There was an enormous castle on the hill above the town—second only to Heidelberg in size according to our guide, Elke. There were two guides, but I gravitated to Elke because she was wearing a pretty dirndl. Why not? I learned later that her “real” job is as a nurse, and she does guiding as a refreshing change.

The leaning tower of Wertheim. We resisted any urge to pose with it as though we were holding it up.

There was a strange leaning tower at the entrance to the town. It had once been part of the town ramparts, but stands by itself now. The lower half was built of stone with 7-foot-thick walls, and this is the leaning part. The top, a later addition, attempted to correct the leaning. it was once called “the hall of fear” because it was used as a jail. The interior was cramped because of the thick walls. It was completely dark, cold, and damp. They would lower prisoners into the tower on a rope, and that was that, I guess.

The old town is very quaint, with narrow, tall, half-timbered buildings. The bakery was built in the 1600s and is still a bakery. The baker is the 13th generation of bakers. He gave us a pretzel demonstration as part of the excursion . More on that later. It seemed many of the buildings still serve their original purposes, judging by the symbols on the fronts of the buildings. It’s a very pretty place, with flower boxes and cafes, and ancient buildings.

There are still remnants of the old town ramparts. This gate to the old town is now part of a hotel.

Elke gave us a brief history of the town, including the sending of Jews to concentration camps. One of the houses now memorializes the Jews, and is decorated with suns, stars, the Star of David, a cross, and the word shalom. In the cobbles in front of the house are some brass stumblestones with the names of the residents. Elke told us that in 1972, the town’s mayor tracked down as many of the surviving Jewish residents as he could and invited them back for a reconciliation ceremony and apology from what was done to them.

The memorial to Wertheim’s vanished Jewish population.
The “stumblestones” memorializing the Jews who lived in the house above.

The town’s church started as a Catholic Church, but was later converted to Lutheran. Because it was the only church in town, Catholic residents also attended, and they and the the Lutherans had separate entrances for a while until it became just Lutheran again, presumably because there weren’t enough Catholics left.

Outside a striking blue and white half-timbered house stands a fairly appalling— but large—bright blue plastic statue of a dwarf, intended to symbolize the optimism of Wertheim. Um, OK.

The optimistic, if ugly, dwarf statue in front of the beautiful blue and White House where glassmakers lived. Maybe they still do—there’s a glass blower’s shop a few yards away.
Two houses in Wertheim leaning toward each other like old friends.
My beloved.

One group went off to walk in the vineyards while the rest of us wandered around town. Then we met up by bus for a wine tasting and pretzel making demonstration. The wine tasting was more like four large glasses of different wines. I liked the sparkling wine and the Riesling the best.

The baker of 13 generations gave a pretzel demonstration. He had a lot of mildly naughty jokes—quite the fellow. If anyone asked a question he liked, they were gifted with many pretzels. I asked why they were dipped in lye before being salted and baked. He said he asked his father, who had asked his father, and no one knew. Then he said he discovered that 200 years ago, a pretzel accidentally fell into a cleaning bucket with lye water in it, and the baker used it anyway. It turned out crisp, brown, and different from the others and has been the custom ever since. I am not sure I believe this tale, but I got four enormous pretzels for asking. We headed back to the boat full of wine and pretzels and ate lunch as the boat took off again.

At the winery, which has a long and complicated German name that I didn’t record. On the left, in the white coat, our merry pretzel-maker. On the left in the pretty dirndl, our guide, Elke.
Me with my prize pretzels for asking about why food might be dipped in poison to make it delicious.

Back at the River Duchess, Captain Ronny gave a presentation on nautical matters, starting with how he became a captain. I found his story really different and fascinating. He was born on a cargo boat that his parents operated out of Rotterdam. At the age of five, he attended floating kindergartens that were set up for the children of such maritime families. But he had to attend boarding schools as an older child. At the age of 16 he returned home (his parents had a larger cargo boat by that time) and worked with his parents until he attended navigational school. After graduating, he worked on different cargo ships but basically had no social life until he married a Swedish woman and moved to Sweden to start a family.

He started a ship maintenance businessin Sweden, but apparently neither the business nor the marriage prospered, so he went back to cargo boats, first hauling fuels, then chemicals. One day he was docked somewhere and the cargo exploded while he was in the wheelhouse. He took this as a sign to do something different, and started working for Uniworld. It took him some time to learn how to maneuver the river boats because instead of the standard propellers and tiller, they have propellers and bow thrusters, which allow for the precise navigation that makes for a trip that doesn’t spill the guests’ drinks. It is a very smooth trip, I must say.

He also presented a lot of info about the River Duchess (where he has worked for seven years). I will skip over the tonnage and draft and so forth. From the appearance of the boat, we thought it was pretty new, but it was built in 2003. Turns out they spend the winter months refurbishing the boat, which accounts for its pristine appearance. Uniworld didn’t lay off any staff during the pandemic, accounting for very low turnover. Respect!

Susan’s birthday dinner. Lovely food and wine! The best company.
Alex (left, in the butler gear) and Todor, the dining room manager, served our private dinner.

This evening, we had a private dinner for Susan’s birthday, and I wish I could have eaten it all, but I couldn’t. There’s a Roaring Twenties party in the lounge tonight, and Susan and David dressed for it. Don’t they look wonderful?

Susan and David!

Day 3: In Which We Embark upon the River Duchess

This is the day! The day we actually move from the hotel to the boat. Or ship. We keep going back and forth—some of us insist that a ship can carry boats, but a boat can’t carry a ship. None of us are maritime experts, so I’m not sure.

Anyway, the main point of the day is checking out of the Conscious and checking into the River Duchess, a Uniworld tour boat/ship. Which is about all we got done today. We arrived at the docks, which we passed yesterday on the canal tour. River Duchess is a long, low ship (or boat), fairly new looking. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it met or exceeded every expectation. The staff is lovely. They greeted us and took us to the lounge and gave us champagne. There are mirrored surfaces everywhere, which I suppose makes the spaces look larger. (But I really don’t want to see the view of my backside looming unexpectedly at me. Too unnerving.)

Our party I. The lounge of the River Duchess. With champagne.

After a bit, they herded us into the restaurant for a buffet lunch. The dining room is at the stern of the boat/ship, with windows everywhere providing a panoramic view. We sat for a long time, eating and watching the busy boat traffic—river cruise ships, coal barges, pleasure boats, ferries, and other maritime vehicles made for a lively scene. Eventually, the staterooms were ready.

Random shot from the sun deck because I am having trouble uploading pictures. This is on the Rhine.

I have to tell you, we have never done this before. Not only have we never taken a cruise of any kind, we usually scrimp a little on accommodations. I guess they were seriously underbooked, because they offered us the opportunity to bid on a better stateroom. Tom made a lowball bid and secured a suite— the ritziest accommodation on the boat (or ship). It comes with a butler! Complimentary everything! More space! It has a marble bathroom, a large window that opens, king bed, drinks bar, live orchids, dressing table, etc, etc. I love it. The shower is a good size, which I did not expect.

Our butler’s name is Alexandru. (Call me Alex.) Alex is from Bucharest, Romania, as many of the crew are. He reassured us multiple times that we did not have to pay for laundry services (I wasn’t worried about it). He wears full butler regalia, tailcoat, vest and all. He is much better dressed than we will be at any time on this trip. Seems like a pleasant young man. We can call him if we need something—at any time, I gather, but I am sure we won’t be ringing him at 3 am to make us sandwiches.

The others walked back to the old town. I stayed to unpack. Also, my poor toe could use a break. I am wondering if I will be able to wear my sandals again on this trip. I hope so, because I only have one other pair of shoes with me.

A word about Amsterdam and its canals. They have hundreds of them, lined with trees, which makes the city parklike and beautiful. We learned that fresh water continually flushes through from the River Ij (pronounced “aye”), which means “”water.” This keeps the water clean, and indeed, we saw people swimming and fishing in the canals and the port. I investigated and found that the canals are literally teeming with more than 20 species of freshwater fish, so the water must indeed be clean. It also means that Amsterdam does not reek from filthy water, as does Venice. These are people who thoroughly understand water management, and we have a lot to learn from them as the world’s water levels rise from climate change.